I Miss Me Too...

Where have I gone to?! Well, this wasn't what I had expected when second semester started. I'm working harder than I ever have in first semester. Why am I working so hard you ask! Well its either do my work and finish my projects, or fail my classes. Awesome choices I'm given, right? No, absolutely horrible. I have never been the one to start stressing about academics. I've always took the stance, "Academics? What is that? Screw that! Go out and socialize!" Well, it seems like I've contradicted my own beliefs this semester and that's not something I'm proud of. I feel ashamed, I feel like I've become this bookworm from this hellhole called Saratoga (I maintain the emphasis on my hatred towards Saratoga).

Ever since second semester started about two weeks ago, my social life has been slowly deteriorating. Who would have thought that I would get slammed with five projects? Some of you may read this and be like, "Shit, that's nothing." Guess what, it is something to me. I am definitely not a projects person, never have been, never will be. I had much more things planned out than stay at home and do work all day for the next four weeks. Such things included: going out, working out, eating healthy, write blogs, reply to blogs, and more which I can't come up off the top of my head right now. Guess what, all of that got replaced with "work on projects". Academics/education is NOT supposed to deteriorate my social life/health or increase my stress.

Shit, why don't I build upon a thought I brought up in my last post. Living alone. What a bitch it is. Not only do I have more work to do for school, I have more work to do at home in general. Take care of those annoying leaks in the house during the week of rain. Have my Superbowl Sunday ruined by a broken waterpipe. Having to make 15+ calls to various places, having the water turned off for the whole day, and having the water company REFUSE to fix your water pipe, is a motherfucking bitch. What do they expect me to do, eat shit?

On to the title of this post. I miss me too. Where did my old self go? I wholeheartedly think that right when summer ended my whole creative side decided to leave me. It was as if school drained my color and turned me black and white (I wouldn't doubt that Saratoga has the ability to do this. This place is boring as fuck. Especially when you have little to no friends at the school anymore.)

But anyway, by now I have finished a few projects and gotten some load off of myself. It's still frustrating, that I have to stress about school. It's a first for me, as I always emphasized the importance of the social life against the academic life. I still emphasize that belief, it's just that my other choice would be to fail my classes. All this bullshit, should be slowly fading away within the next two to three weeks. I'm looking forward to the few weeks after February break, maybe everything won't decide to come back and bite me in the ass.

This will probably be the only new post for a few weeks. I apologize for the unorganized post. Just give me some time. My patience and temper are on a short fuse right now. I'm on a thin line here. I would have lost my mind by now if it wasn't for her. I'm grateful to have her as a companion, especially because I'm usually alone for the majority of the day.